Here I go again.

So today was actually the first time i celebrated the 14th as valentine's day and not as single awareness day. That day didn't go as i expected. I expected it to be just like any other day but my baby made it a point to make it special. He gave me a paper bouquet of flowers cause he knows I'm allergic to the real ones. Hahaha. Then he let me go on a little adventure. And i got myself a pot of gold! Hahaha. Then we went out :) it was pretty much an awesome day for me, I don't need a lot to make me happy. The simplest of things make me happy tooooo :3 hihi :3

This post was like for over thinking but then i thought why not put the good first? Right? So firstly i feel sad that my best friend isn't a strong believer of valentines :( he dint even bother to try and ask his gf out on a date :/ but hey we cant dictate everyone. It seems amongst all my friends who are girls, I'm the only one who is truly happy here. Mmmmm. But i hope my other friend's date went well :)

That's all i wanted to say. Iloveyouguysssss. Goodnight! Peuce! :*

The fam bam ate in beverly view tonight and Oh and my mom gave me chocolate for valentines :)) teehee :3

1am thoughts.

I just sent my baby a goodnight message thinking I'm going to bed but i guess my thoughts beg to differ. Here i am again thinking of things that might happen in the future. I used to be so negative about my current relationship but i guess i have grown to trust him and trust myself that i wont allow the things that happened in the past happen again. I really do love my baby and i guess maybe because i have fully allowed myself to feel such deep feelings that i have scared myself into thinking of what might happen to me if he ever leaves me :/ i know its shameful for me to think that he might leave me even though i know that it is such a slim chance since both of us have never broken up with anyone. Those thoughts keep on haunting me every night, every time i text him goodnight even though I'm going to see him in a few hours. It just scares me. I guess its normal for people in love to be scared of what the future may bring. I have not only learned how to fall in love i also learned how to stay in love with the person i have fallen in love with. :)

"We should love, not fall in love, because everything that falls gets broken"
-Taylor Swift

Im scared.

The sudden realizations that you get in the wee times in the morning. So im in a relationship and its almost heading to the 6 months mark that ive tried to have the long relationship and it scares me. What if it happens again? The pain that i have felt before was unexplainable and i know that this time if this ends it will hurt so much more because in this relationship i have attached myself so much. I am giving out so much love and its been a long time since i have really felt this way. I am happy and i am scared. We all know how we have this tendency to have this one person as your source of everything and we all know that it is very much possible that if they leave it will be like falling into a bottomless pit. It will be dark. And it will be very painful. I dont wanna think so negatively about this but i have been here before :( im not faking it im really acared :(( i dont wanna lose him :/ he's the first guy that i am afraid of losing :(( he means so much to me. And he was able to break down my walls and pop my bubble. Even if it was so hard to understand me he was there and he never gave up on me :( i fear that if i lose him i might not find another person like him :/ it scares me to death that he could so easily just leave me because what's holding him back? Me? I am but a wierd person who tries. I cannot even give him my all because of my restrictions :/ i am scared. And that is the truth. :((

Party at Adrian's house.

We here havin fuuuuuun :)) eating and watching moobissssss :> errbody is here :3 short post is short :))

Lookie its ver, benj and k :>