Im scared.

The sudden realizations that you get in the wee times in the morning. So im in a relationship and its almost heading to the 6 months mark that ive tried to have the long relationship and it scares me. What if it happens again? The pain that i have felt before was unexplainable and i know that this time if this ends it will hurt so much more because in this relationship i have attached myself so much. I am giving out so much love and its been a long time since i have really felt this way. I am happy and i am scared. We all know how we have this tendency to have this one person as your source of everything and we all know that it is very much possible that if they leave it will be like falling into a bottomless pit. It will be dark. And it will be very painful. I dont wanna think so negatively about this but i have been here before :( im not faking it im really acared :(( i dont wanna lose him :/ he's the first guy that i am afraid of losing :(( he means so much to me. And he was able to break down my walls and pop my bubble. Even if it was so hard to understand me he was there and he never gave up on me :( i fear that if i lose him i might not find another person like him :/ it scares me to death that he could so easily just leave me because what's holding him back? Me? I am but a wierd person who tries. I cannot even give him my all because of my restrictions :/ i am scared. And that is the truth. :((